Although I've seen little evidence to back up this claim for the female part of the population I think it's safe to say that gyms rank as one of the most frequented hotbeds for those males within the 85 percent. I disagree with the popular assumption that gyms attract men of a lower intellect than others (mainly because I go to one), especially in London, however I've come to the conclusion that those who do go can be placed into three categories.
The first are those men that simply want to stay fitter in one way or another. They do weights, they go on the cardio machines and then they leave. Maybe they go once a week, maybe they go five times; but they go for a reason. Often they're even sportsman who feel a need to improve their game by adding in a little extra muscle work between matches.
The second are those men that just go the gym because they feel they have to. They don't often do a lot. Maybe a little jog on the cross trainer and a sit down in the corner with a coffee and paper. Pointless but it's their money.
Then there's the third kind of gym-going man. The perfect example of the 85 percent mentality. These are the men that go purely for the purpose of spectacle; a desire to make as much noise and take up as much space as possible. My prime example for this, although this is in no way an isolated incident, is a gentleman I saw the other day doing some bicep curls with a pretty heavy weight. As he picked up the bar (after staring at himself for four or five minutes in the mirror) he proceeded to huff and puff his way through the repetitions. As he came to the end of them, instead of putting the weight back on the floor, he just threw the barbell on the ground and let out a big growl. At the sound of 40kg of weight smashing against the floor pretty much everyone in the gym turned their heads. Everyone that is except for the cause of it who was now staring back into the mirror and lifting up his t-shirt slightly. So proud of his noise he was that decided to do it a few more times before sitting on a machine and phoning a mate for twenty minutes about how he couldn't talk for long.
Another example happened last week when some friends and I were using a bench press machine for a couple of minutes when a man came along in a tight vest and said to me "I'm using that after you." I wasn't quite sure why he was telling me this. He hadn't asked how long we wanted to use it for or how long we'd been on it. In fact I wasn't entirely sure why the statement affected me in the slightest. I said to him nicely "We're just doing a few more sets" which caused a look of irrelevance to the man who repeated the fact again "Yeah, I'm using it after you." I looked at him a bit confused, should I care about this? Is he going home for half an hour and expecting me to guard it for him? I smiled at him and turned around muttering "right" under my breath.
I could go on about the 85 percent gym-goers for hours. The way they like to go with their mates and spend 20 minutes talking in-between using machines - "You can use it in-between sets if you want", not great considering I'll have to spend two minutes taking your weights off, two putting mine on and off then another two putting yours back on, but thanks - or how they like to collect the majority of the free weights around their feet in case they need to use them all. There's another side to the 85 percent at the gym which is a little bit different and a lot more concerning; the changing rooms.
There's few things quite as frustrating as being stood waiting to get to your locker because a naked man is bent over in front of you having a full body hairdryer session. He can't hear your pleas to get past (although to be honest the kind of man that does that probably isn't that bothered) and you're stuck trying to find something to do with yourself while he finishes. I'm not entirely sure of why they're quite so opposed to towels but they could at least do it at the back of the changing rooms instead of at the entrance.
Next time: Cash Machines
